Dig, if you will, the picture. I have just come out from the doctor's office and there it is – Yahoo's Picture of the Day with instant photographic celebrity written all over it (or at least printed faintly on the back like the Kodak logo) . A embonpoint Jersey moo-cow has come full stop in front of a bus stand replete with amply-padded, sari-clad aunties sitting in attentive anticipation. The lighting is perfect, and the stark black and white of the cow contrasts nicely with the resplendently adorned women. The scene screams out to be snapped for photographic posterity. Click me sucka' and get ready to collect yo' pulitza'.
Backpack flashback: I've left my camera in the room this morning to keep my load light. I calculate the time it would take to return to the hotel and come back, only to resign myself to blogging about the priceless picture that will never be captured on film.
So now the challenge. What is the best caption you can come up with for the picture that never was? Viral, are you listening? Dad? Derek? Eric? Rick? Ick? If anyone can outdo my humble collection, I will treat them to a case of soy ice cream.
Cowbus and Indians
[10/10 Cow Pies]
Pure, grade-A unadultered pun. Can't touch this.
Waiting for the Next Cow
[9/10 Cow Pies]
Nothing fancy, but Godot isn't complaining.
Jersey, Anyone?
[8/10 Cow Pies]
Likely the caption that would've been used by the newswire services. Contemporary reference to Indian migration to the Garden State of Sinatra, Springsteen and Singh.
New Public Transport Emits Only Milk and Methane; Features Dual Horns
[8/10 Cow Pies]
Indians like to honk and anything with two honkers is sure to garner attention. Alliteration of 'milk and methane' is sweet, even if the mixture is not.
Cow No. 217 to Lal Bagh
[7/10 Cow Pies]
Lal Bagh is a famous botanical garden in Bangalore. Cow No. 217 is the way to get there.
Don't Have a Cow, Your Bus is Coming
[6/10 Cow Pies]
Fine, but slightly distasteful due to it's anti-bovine overtones.
India: Fallen Behind or Moovin' Ahead?
[5/10 Cow Pies]
Superior attempt at punmenship, but ultimately suffers from obscurity. Is a 'fallen behind' a symptom of dropsy?
Hey Fatty, Who You Calling a Cow?
[3/10 Cow Pies]
Works both ways, but ultimately is cheap humor at the expense of a lot of really fat creatures.
Sari, We Only Ride Horny Bulls
[2/10 Cow Pies]
No one's laughing mister. You are just sick, sick, sick (and bloody brilliant).
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2 comments:
hahahhahaa ... here are a few others:
wholly cow (2 out of 10)
moovin on up in the world (4 out of 10)
moov it (5 out of 10)
cow is my co-pilot (9 out of 10)
in mootion (6 out of 10)
"buss stop" (buss in hindi means 'just') (8 out of 10)
Well, Bos Stop, maybe...
Or possibly,
"No, Bossy, this is not for you! "COW bus" stands for Calcutta on Wheels* bus!"
*Actually, the registered trademark of Cerritos College Transit System.
Not this:
"Is there special seating for me or do I sit with the udders?"
"Sorry, we have no seats with room for teats!"
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